Tales of a Dethroned Princess

WWEPD

2009-02-11T21:43:00.004-06:00

WHAT WOULD EMILY POST DO?

Isn't it convienent that 3 year olds, who often say embarrassing things, are the same height as most adult butts? That ironic little coincidence was brought to my attention during a recent trip to Wal-mart. I hate Wal-mart. I hate going there. I hate how when I do go there I buy at least $100 of crap I didn't intend on going in there to get. So, after being tortured by an hour long grocery trip to our local, overcrowded, usually understaffed Wal-mart, I breathed a sign of relief to finally park my buggy at the end of an overly crowded checkout line. The Princess had had her fill and was not appreciative of the long line or the uncomfortable cart. She promised to be good if I let her get down to look at the boxes of toys and candy that the marketing geniuses over in Bentonville decided to locate on the kid height shelves of the checkout line. Anyways, she soon got bored and wandered over to me and wanted to help load the groceries on the belt. I agreed and she went to the front of the cart to wait for the lady ahead of us to pay and move out of the way.

The following is the conversation that happened after she assumed position in line pressed up against the front of the cart and no more than 12" from the large woman's ample rear end:

P: Mommy. Mommy (a bit louder)

DTP: Yes, baby?

P: I smell something.

DTP: It's OK P don't worry about it.

P: But Mooommmmmy I smeeeeeelllll something.

DTP: Then come over here and smell over here.

P: but I want to help with the food.

DTP: Ok then wait there and be quite.

(a minute or so passes)

P: MOMMY (as I look at her she inserts two fingers up her nose to the knuckle)

DTP: get those out of your nose.

P: MOMMY SHE FARTED!! IT STINKS!

At this point I want to melt into the shelving. My mind went blank and I wasn't quite sure if it was due to sheer humiliation or due to the fact that P was 100% right. Someone crop dusted the checkout line and the fallout had settled near our cart.

DTP: (in a hushed voice) P come here. Hush. No one did anything.

P: Yes huh. If not then someone is stinky. They need a bath.

No words...no words...

New Kids On The Block

2009-01-19T12:52:00.006-06:00

It's summer 1990. I am 9, and I can't wait to grow up so that I can marry Donnie Whalberg. I have written the New Kids on the Block fan club numerous times letting him know that if they are ever near my hometown and can't find a place to stay that I am sure my mom won't mind if they stay at my house. Sadly, this never happens. So the second best thing is to go to a concert right? So we load up in the car and head to Tulsa for the Magic Summer Tour. My best friend Melissa, my cousin Melissa, and myself are dressed head to toe in the latest NKOTB fashions. Donnie Whalberg t-shirts for me and my cousin and Joey McIntire for Melissa, tight rolled jeans, New Kids hat with huge handprint on top, ginormous buttons pinned everywhere. NKOTB earrings, and of course lipstick just in case we are the lucky girl to get pulled on stage during Cover Girl. We eat dinner at the Metro Diner and then head over to Skelly Stadium. The concert was amazing. Unfortunately, I was NOT the girl chosen to go on stage during Cover Girl. I was heartbroken.

Fastforward 2 years. It's now 1992. My cousin informs me that NKOTB are not cool, they are so lame, and that Vanilla Ice and Nelson are now the coolest. HHHMMMM...I am not sure how to take this news. I mean I still really reall want to marry Donnie and since I still haven't even gotten the chance to meet him how will I ever pull that one off? I eventually give in to peer pressure and sadly remove all my NKOTB posters from my walls (most of which I had ripped out of the pages of BOP or Teen BEat magazine). I pack up all of my New Kids tshirts, and jewelry and dolls and videos and put it all in the attic. I can remember wondering well what now? There was a void there. I thought maybe Nelson would fill in as good replacements. That didn't work. I belted out After the Rain in the shower just like I used to with Cover Girl but I never could tell those boys apart so I never knew which one should replace Donnie as my future husband. I did have a huge crush on Jason Priestly for a while after 90210 came out so I eventually let Donnie fade to the back of my mind.

Fastforward 2 more years. It's now the summer of 1994. I haven't even thought about the New Kids in a good year and a half. I have no idea what they are doing. I assume that since they are no longer popular here in the US that they must be preforming in places like Mexico where news hasn't reached that they are no longer cool. So, whenmy dad decides to take me and my friend Amanda to Cancun for a summer trip I immediately tell dad that if New Kids happen to be preforming in Cancun while we are there I HAVE to see tham. SHOCK...no NKOTB sightings while we are in Mexico. I am secretly devastated.

Now when Joey and Jordan came out with their solo albums back a few years ago I thought HHHMMM....maybe this will lead to something. I kept waiting to get the news that there was another New Kid with a solo album but it never happened. By this time the interenet was around and I decided to find out what happened to them for real. I had kinda figured out that they weren't one the 7th year of the "Third World Country" tour and must have broken up and gone their separate ways.

Indeed, the "kids" had now moved on and sadly gotten married and had kids and gotten real jobs. This was also when I learned that my future husband, Donnie, was the crazy guy in the bathroom that killed Bruce Willis in "The Sixth Sense". Seriously, NO WAY!! I immediately rented it and watch that scene over and over again telling myself there was NO WAY that was him. But it was.

I was convinced my reunion tour was never going to happen and I gave up. So when I received a phone call from my sister-in-law telling me that the NKOTB website was up and running again and that there was new stuff on there I wanted to get really excited. However I ahd been let down a few times before when my hopes of a reunion were crushed so I chose not to believe her. She kept insisting that it was true so I finally gave in a Googled it. Sure enough, there were rumors all over the web about a reunion tour. My hopes were officially up. I signed up for the updates from NKOTB.com and the waiting began.

Fastforward to fall of 2008. I am 27 and I have married someone other than Donnie. My lovely husband and daughter are watching me and my sister-in-law make homemade "I still love NKOTB" t-shirts as we prepare for our big night. The next night Casey and I head out in our newly made t-shirts with Cover Girl blasting on the radio. Instead of the Metro Diner we head to Dick's last Resort in Dallas for some food and adult beverages. The sight inside is hilarious. EVERY person in there is in NKOTB garb. Some had even pulled out the old t-shirts (lucky little bitches could still fit into theirs...granted the shirt that was once a nightgown was now a baby t...but still). We saw side ponytails and neon spandex (who knew that stuff was still manufactured). After dinner we walked over to the AAC. On our way a carload of guys pulls up next to us at a light and rolls down the window. The driver says "Hey what's going on at the AAC there are girls EVERYWHERE down here" I smiled and said "we are headed to the New Kids on the Block concert" he laughed and said "no seriously what's going on?" to which I replied "I'm not kidding." The look on his face said it all as he floored it to get out of the general vicinity.

So all of this life history for what, you ask. Well, let me tell you that concert rocked. It took me way back. For 2 hours I was 9 again. I was shocked (and a little embarrassed) that I knew EVERY word to EVERY song (well the old school ones anyways). So I will share a little bit of the evening with you. ENJOY...

Yes, that was a bra Jordan was swinging around. No, it wasn't mine!! Notice how cut Danny is? I have to admit that back in the day he was the one I comonly referred to as the "non-cute" one. However, DAYUM. He is hot now! Jon is pretty hot now too and of course Donnie is still AMAZING!! Jordan and Joe still have it going on and there was a preformance of Jordan's "Give it to You" that included him shirtless which was so hot I forgot to video it!!

So, now I have been informed that they are coming to Tulsa in March. Am I going. HHHMMM...I am SO there!!

Happy Birthday to my Big Sister

2008-11-25T09:07:00.032-06:00

Today is my big sister, Leigh Anne's, birthday. I considered telling which birthday it was but since I have already posted one embarrassing picture of her on Mom's blog I thought it best not to do that. I will leave it to this she is somewhere between 33 and 35. She was in kindergarten when I was born and I thought she was the coolest thing to ever walk on Earth. I looked up to her and thought she could do no wrong. To me, my sister was the prettiest, smartest, and coolest person I knew. I wanted to do everything just like her until sometime in highschool when I wanted to do the opposite of her. This explains why she went to OU and I went to OSU. Growing up I thought we were total opposites and I wanted to do everything I could to be more like her. Once I got a little older I started to realize that we are more alike than I ever knew. I still look up to her and think she is the prettiest, smartest, and coolest person I know but I have also learned that she is just as beautiful inside as she is on the outside and she is more intelligent than I ever knew and she will always be the coolest person on Earth to me.

I love you big sister! I love seeing you with Parker and knowing that she thinks the world of you. I love our gossip sessions on the phone and I love knowing that you will always be there for me. I love knowing that you always tell me what I need to hear even if I don't want to hear it and sometimes don't agree with it and I love you because you are you!

Happy Birthday Leigh Anne!! I can't wait to see you tomorrow!

She wanted to see if I was a princess so she put an eraser under my mattress. She got into a little trouble for that one.

I am not sure if I was looking at her thinking she was really cool or if I was thinking how hard I could hit her with that hairbrush. Probably, how hard I could hit her with the hairbrush.

Can you believe how big those trees have gotten? We will have to go drive by the old house when you are in town for Christmas. Not that we don't already do that everytime you are in town but still!

You probably have no idea how pissed I was that you got to wear the cool purple fringy number and I was stuck dressing up as Little Orphan Annie. That was only one of the many injustices I suffered being the little sister. I know you are saying to yourself "oh whatever" but I beg you to recall who got to go to Europe and on the cruise. Yes, I am still VERY bitter!

I think you did my bangs that morning because I wanted them to be as tall as yours.

This was about 2 hours before I puked all over your very first post-college apartment. Too bad I didn't get sick when you moved to Dallas that summer when it was 100 degrees and 100% humidity and you lived on the 3rd floor...no YOU got sick and I ended up having to haul everything up 3 flights of stairs. Again, one of the many injustices of being the little sister!! I did pay you back though with a fresh coating of vomit all over that bathroom a few months later :)

So...just to prove how much I idolized you. Have you ever paid much attention to our junior year high school pictures? Notice anything? Yup that's right I stole your sweater and kept it for 6 years so I could wear it in my junior picture like you did in yours.

Happy Birthday EE!! I love you!!

Return of the Dethroned Princess

2008-11-24T09:38:00.004-06:00

GREETINGS!! OK so I have been MIA for quite some time! I logged on to see that my last post was back in July. Yes, I have been slacking! I do have a good reason for it though. My new job is super exciting and keeps me very busy. I switched jobs back in June and have been working as the Parks and Recreations Planner since then for the city. I really enjoy the work and everyone I work with is great. Oh yeah and Coach and I have put the house on the market and Princess P is in gymnastics and so I have very little free time here lately.

That being said, right now I have lots of free time because Princess P and I have taken over Swampy's house again. We arrived on Saturday and have been lounging and relaxing since. It is a brisk 15 degrees in Grand Junction today and we are awaiting the arrival of Coach tomorrow and EE and Uncle Cool on Wednesday.

So, yesterday was our first day and we made homemade cider and ate my favorite meal of all time Mom's Chicken Tetrazinni. We watched the Cowboys destroy the 49ers we also watched the AMA's and fell asleep by the fire! Today we are going to run some last minute errands before the rest of the family gets here, but first, we are going to feed the critters.

It is beautiful out here at Mom's and the best place in the world to relax and catch up on much needed rest! This is the Colorado National Monument and it is right in the back yard. The views from here are amazing.

Never fall asleep at a Vietnamese Nail Salon

2008-07-13T03:51:00.002-05:00

Ok so while in Colorado I was going to have a spa day. A whole day to get a facial, manicure, pedicure, massage...THE WORKS!! Well after all, this was supposed to be a relaxing vacation and I had a built-in babysitter. Unfortunately, the morning I was supposed to go I woke up throwing up. YES, I was sick on Spa day...HOW WRONG!! I was unable to attend my appointments and by the end of the trip I was in DIRE need of a fill. So, we had a couple of hours to kill before we had to go to the airport so we swung by the mall and I decided to get a fill on my nails and a quick pedicure. I had pink and white acrylic nails on and no polish on my feet at the time. So, I am taken to the pedicure station where I am told they will do the fill and the pedi at the same time. The following conversation takes place between me and the nail tech.

NT: "You want toe to match finger?"
ME: "Yes, please" (I am envisioning a pedi painted with french tips to match the pink and white nails)
NT: "You lay back. I turn on massage. Relax"
ME: "Great Thanks"

At this point I made a HORRIBLE mistake. I dozed off in the massage chair while they were massaging my feet and the chair was massaging my back. Well I woke up a few minutes later and looked down at my feet and immediately jerked my feet out of the lady's hands and pulled my knees to my chest.

NT: "OOOOOOOH Wha Wong?
ME: "uuummm what are you doing to my toes?"
NT: "oh we make dem match your finger"
ME: "but you are putting fake toenails on my toes"
NT: "yeah we make dem match your finger"
ME: "I just wanted you to paint french tips on them I didn't want acrylic toenails"
NT: "no no no you have ugly toe...now dey pretty toe"
ME: "THEY'RE FAKE"
NT: "de pretty, dey match you finger"
ME: "do I have to et them filled? I don't even know if the place I go at home does that"
NT: "oh you no worry dey pretty. dey match you finger"
ME: "Oh good lord!!"

Anyways, the point of this story is NEVER fall asleep in a Vietnamese nail salon!! Yes, my toes look great but I have fake freaking toenails...that is CREEPY!!!

2008-07-13T03:12:00.006-05:00

WOW this summer has flown by! OK not that I really get a summer anymore since I am no longer in school but, whatever. This is the time of year I really wish I was a teacher!! Anyways, this summer has been CRAZY!! After a family filled May due to the Princess turning 3, June began relatively quietly. Coach started baseball and the Princess and I took in a few home games. We went to Kiddie Park a few times and hung out by the pool. Then the second week of June I took a new job. My last day was the 15th of June and the next day Princess and I headed out for a much deserved vacation. I mean if your changing jobs and all you might as well take off a few days in between right??

So, Little Miss P and me jump on a plane and head out to see Gammy. We spent 6 days in paradise. OK, so some people might not think Grand Junction, CO is paradise but I consider paradise ANYWHERE I can kick back and relax and at Mom's I can totally do that!! We had a wonderful time playing with Gammy and Pops. We took a day trip to Gateway Canyon Resort AAAAHHHHH that was FUN! As much fun as we had we did have to come home.

Relaxing in the Skychairs

Gammy's Princess

Gammy let's her do ANYTHING she wants!

Lip Gloss Kisses!!

The Colorado National Monument from Gammy's Driveway!

The Princess was fascinated with the Treasure Chests!

AAAAHHHHH The Gateway Canyons Resort Pool!!

I have a baby...in a bar!!!

So, as soon as we got home I switched into party planner mode. I had 1 day to finish pulling together Melissa's shower. THANK GOD for my step-mom. She's a saint!! We ended up pulling it together and everyone had a great time. All the girls involved did a great job with their parts and it was so much fun seeing everyone again!

The Monday after the shower I started my new job with the City of Bartlesville as the Park and Recreation Planner. I LOVE IT!! I get to design parks and be involved with the future of the city. I get to talk to people and coordinate projects. I no longer feel chained to a computer and don't have to worry about the nitty gritty engineering details of the project. I am the "pretty picture person" and I LOVE IT!! Good riddance to civil pad sites!!!!

While I was in Colorado we found out that Coach was promoted to General Manager of his store!! This summer has been great!! We have been so blessed!!

Family Vacation

2008-06-12T16:18:00.006-05:00

Well we finally took a vacation as a family...just the 3 of us. Me, Coach and the Princess loaded up the family truckster and drove to New Mexico for 6 days. We had a great time.

We played at the park...

The Princess went fishing. She caught a trout with her Disney Princess Fishing Pole, I caught a trout with my $18 gas station purple pole and poor Coach with his expensive, high powered super rod caught nothing.
The Princess rode a Horsey!

We rode 4 wheelers up the mountain and the Princess took a nap!!

We had a great time.

Crocodiles and Butterflies

2008-06-12T15:51:00.004-05:00

Well Little Miss P has been busy for the past few months and one thing that has happened is that her school moved into the new building. When they did P's classroom was named the Butterflies. To go along with the new name and animal theme her teachers bought a butterfly kit and the kids watched caterpillars turn into cocoons and then into butterflies. P LOVED talking about the butterflies. Well, before the cocoons "hatched" we were all notified that our kiddos were graduating from the butterfly room to the crocodile room. Little miss thing was now going to be a crocodile. She was not too sure about the change and didn't really want to talk about it. So one day I pick her up from the Butterfly room and ALAS the cocoons had "hatched" her teacher told me they had taken them outside and let them fly away. On the car ride home that afternoon I asked Little Miss Thing to tell me about the butterflies and what she had watched them do. The conversation went like this...

Mommy: "P tell me about the butterflies how do butterflies become butterflies?"

P: "first they are caderpillas and they eat the goo in the bucket"

Mommy: "then what happens?"

P: "they turn into cockoons and they hang from the roof for a loooooooong time"

Mommy: "what happens next?"

P: "they hatch and then they are butterflies and they fly around"

Mommy: "and then what happens"

At this point I was expecting her to say "we let them got" or "they fly away" or something along those lines. HA

P: (she wrinkles her forehead looks up at the sky and thinks for a minute...I can tell the wheels are spinning) "Well Mommy, I guess the Butterflies turn into Crocodiles."

HHHMMM...I guess that would make sense to a 3 year old. Oh the things our little ones come up with!!

Little Miss P's New Favorite Thing!!

2008-04-04T09:20:00.004-05:00

Well, as Little Miss P gets older it is becoming quite clear that Mommy and Daddy are getting boring to her. Yes, she still wants us to read to her and roller skate with her and play but we are holding her attention for shorter periods of time. I decided it was about time for some extra-curricular activities and called about Gymnastics classes. Little Miss P started last night and LOVED it. She had so much fun and was NOT happy to leave. She wanted to go back this morning. So, she will start going to class twice a week starting next week. Here are a couple pics of P and her new leotard.

The Princess' New Kingdom

2008-03-31T09:11:00.003-05:00

Now that the Princess is getting older we decided it was time to graduate from the nursery into a "Big Girl" room. So, a few weeks ago we began this process thinking she would be quite happy. Oh we were mistaken. Our plan was to actually move her into the guest room since it was bigger and had more storage space. We decided this was ideal because we could work on the room and keep her nursery intact so she could still sleep in her bed. Well Little Miss P began to get VERY concerned when we told her the news. At first she was 100% against the idea becasue she wanted to know where Gammy would sleep if she moved into "Gammy's room." Once we assured her that we would not be throwing Gammy out on the street the next time she visited, P became a little more accepting of our plan. So here is a before picture, yes someone, not us, actually painted a room that horrid pink color.

Here is the finished product...

Little Miss P now has a "Big Girl" bed, quite appropriately, covered in monkeys.

Gammy, did you notice your table??

Why You Should Never Fall Asleep While the Princess is Awake...

2008-03-11T13:10:00.004-05:00

Little Miss P recently took a trip with her Gammy It was her first out-of-state-travel episode sans The Fallen Princess (mommy) and Coach (daddy). Gammy kept us constantly update via cell phone pics. During that 4 hour drive in the car with Gammy and Pops. Little Miss P got a bit bored. She was sharing the backseat with 2 full grown boxers who had long since dozed off. Gammy was well on her way to a full on snoring session when she hears tiny little voice say, "gammy." Gammy answers without looking back "yes, sweetie." "The doggies are gone." The rest of the story is best said in pictures...

Shortly thereafter, Little Miss P was pooped...

While we played in Cowtown...

2008-03-07T11:07:00.004-06:00

While Chad and I were having a blast in Cowtown Little Miss P was busy herself. She got to have a slumber party with her Grammy, Chad's mom, Teddi. Mommy and Dadday thought the little pirncess had a date with the McDonald's playground but little did we know that Grammy had plans of her own. We got back to Grammy' house Sunday morning and Little Miss P took us to see the surprise she got us!! While we were two-stepping the night away Little Miss P was hamming it up at Portrait Innovations in Plano. Grammy went a little overboard buying pictures and surprised us with some amazing shots of our little model. THANK YOU TEDDI!! This was a WONDERFUL gift!!

COWTOWN WEEKEND!!

2008-03-07T10:54:00.003-06:00

OK so this past weekend Swampwitch and Hansman treated Chad and myself to a little fun. We went to Fort Worth and stayed at the Stockyard Hotel and went to the Rodney Atkins Concert at Billy Bob's Texas. We had a BLAST. Thank you SO SO SO much Mom and Hans we had a great time.

Daddy Has a Tail

2008-02-29T09:07:00.008-06:00

So, one of the joys of parenthood is discovering just how innocent children are and watching their little minds, which are like sponges, wade through an adult world. Sometimes, their explanations of things are worth sharing. A couple of weeks ago Little Princess P wandered into our bathroom and caught her daddy as naked as a jaybird. She thought nothing of it and continued on her way. A few days later she caught him in the buff again and this time studied him with a very confused look on her face. After a few awkward moments she declares "DADDY!!! YOU HAVE A TAIL!!!" Stunned my poor husband was at a loss for words and his best answer was "Yes, you are right I do have a tail." So, that night during her bath she informs me that daddy has a tail and ask me if I have a tail. I tell her no that Little Princess P and Mommy don't have tails. Of course her next question is, "what happened to our tails?" Not wanting to disappoint her, Daddy tells her that they froze off because we got too cold. I can't wait for the day I get the phone call from her school asking why Little Princess P thinks her "tail" froze off.

This story probably pleases my sister-in-law, Casey, very much. Chad and I were responsible for telling her son, Dakota, about the Weiner Theif. We told him if he took his hand off his weiner the Weiner Theif might steal it! She was not pleased but it was pretty funny!

Oh, just FYI, Chad doesn't normally sport the creepy moustasche as shown in the picture, it was grown specially for a 1980's party.

WELCOME TO MY WORLD

2008-02-18T10:24:00.003-06:00

Welcome to my world!! So I have resisted this blogging thing for a long time b/c I really didn’t think I had much of anything interesting to say. My mom has a blog…a great blog. She blogs about lots of random things and plays blog games and has blog friends. I have read blogs…funny ones…intellectual ones…entertaining ones but never really thought much about having one myself. Another reason I haven’t blogged before now was because I didn’t have much time for it. I really still don’t but I want a way to keep friends and family up to date on Little Miss P. Basically, this is an easy way to post pictures and tell stories of her daily adventures and discoveries. So, that’s what I plan to do. Okay, maybe not daily, but whenever I feel like it. So, ENJOY!!